Skip to content
Home » Feeling Lonely and Alone

Feeling Lonely and Alone

  • Life

It is the start of the rainy season and that empty feeling/feeling alone is going back again. I used to love rain in my younger years as my creative side is very active, I’ll be sketching people and places then after that try to do painting or ink my sketches. Nowadays, it felt sad and I not even complaining because it still fits my mood, even though I sound/look very cliche.

I also noticed that going to go back to the office seems like a burden to me for a couple of days. I don’t know what I’m doing, usually, I end up hating myself at the end of my shift and that feeling goes even worse, especially when I return home. Even though I’m already used to seeing an “empty” house every night, it still bites me from time to time. I already consider getting a pet but I’m currently stuck on these options — adopting a cat or waiting for my brother to give me a puppy. There are plans on breeding their current dog so, I kind of volunteer to take one if there’s an unwanted one.

I tried to… you know — be an extrovert or try to be more outgoing and it doesn’t work. Although I enjoyed being around a group of people, it doesn’t matter if I’m talkative or not; just being in a group soothes my loneliness, and not alone. It stops me from thinking about some things that usually make me cry or cry for no reason — which happened a couple of days ago (that, unfortunately, me ended up getting awful migraines).

I also feel bad when I rant to my friends because it feels like I’ve been ranting every day, but I’m also helping them with their problems as well so my circle of friends is supporting each other in a good and healthy way.

Anyway, I need to wrap this blog up because I’m feeling dread again and might have a hard time finishing a blog post. Also, I might have signs of emotional neglect because the communication with the person that I really want to talk to is… well – I have a chance of memorizing 5 Kanji than expecting a response but this is mere speculation and I need to seek medical help on this one.

Am I losing hope? Probably and pretty much holding on to a thread but I’ll try to survive this year.