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December Blues

We’re already in the middle of December, and I must admit, my productivity has been on the decline as we approach the end of 2021. Over the past three months, my activities have mainly consisted of endless streaming and lengthy periods of sleep during the weekends. However, I’m grateful that I can still manage to handle basic daily chores and stock up on groceries every other week.

I find myself easily getting distracted from work and constantly engaging in self-reflection, often with a negative mindset. Despite having a five-day break last week, I suspect that burnout may be contributing to these feelings. Additionally, the ongoing uncertainties within my department, such as the transfer of teammates, have further dampened my work morale.

To add to the challenges, my husband and I are currently living in different countries, making it difficult to find a suitable time for quality conversations. Being 15 hours apart presents a significant hurdle, and finding a convenient middle ground has proven to be a challenge.

Overall, these factors have contributed to a less-than-ideal state of mind as I navigate through this period.

December has brought with it a noticeable drop in temperature, particularly during the nighttime. As a result, my sleep schedule has become somewhat erratic. Although I still manage to get a “decent” six hours of sleep, I find myself struggling to fall asleep at my usual time. It’s currently 23:30, and despite having consumed coffee two hours ago, I’m already experiencing intense bouts of yawning. Normally, I would be wide awake until around 3:00 in the morning.

Unfortunately, the lack of consistent sleep has also made me more susceptible to migraines. These migraines can be quite severe and have the potential to persist for up to three days. Naturally, encountering such episodes leaves me feeling extremely drained and exhausted.

It’s a challenging situation to navigate, but I’m hopeful that I can find ways to improve my sleep patterns and alleviate the frequency of these migraines.

At the moment, I’m focused on maintaining some level of functionality in my daily life. I have various pending tasks and goals, including studying a new language and delving into the world of cryptocurrencies. However, when it comes to pursuing my hobbies or working on my personal project, I find myself lacking motivation. My journal, for instance, remains incomplete, hovering somewhere between 30% and 50% finished. It’s a bit disheartening, but I’m hopeful that my drive and enthusiasm will return in due time.

Also realized that reading manhwa sounds like a chore too. It sucks.

Hopefully, at the start of January, I’ll be able to get my shit together or have better habits. For now, I’m going to fluff my pillows, grab my comfiest blanket, and somehow enjoy the remaining days of December.